I recently had the opportunity to meet and speak with the chairman of a well-known company at an event.
He was very friendly and I ended up being very prolific. When the conversation was over, I felt very good. Later, when I asked people who knew him well about his reputation, they unanimously gave him high marks. We all discussed the reason for this and came to the conclusion that he is a “good listener. It was a moment that made me realize how important it is to be a good listener.
It may be common to think that in a business meeting, you have to talk anyway because you have to explain your product and why it will sell. However, I believe that listening is more important than talking. First of all, I think it is necessary to find out what the other person is requesting. To do this, it is important to be a good listener. Once you become a good listener and know what they want, you can focus your conversation on that product. So how do you become a good listener?
If you want people to hate you, you can certainly make them hate you by doing the following
１） Never listen to the other person for too long.
２） Talks only about himself from beginning to end.
３） When he has something to say, he does not hesitate to interrupt the other person in the middle of his speech.
They are people who are intoxicated with ego and think they are the only ones who are great. I am sure you have all met people like that.
To be a good listener, you need to do the opposite.
１） Listen carefully and with interest to what the other person has to say
２） Let the other person do the talking and talk sparingly yourself.
３） Timely timing and phasing make it easy for the other person to speak in a rhythmic manner.
This will make the other party feel comfortable to talk with you, and you will be able to hear their true feelings, which will make the business meeting go smoothly. This will make them feel good about you, and you will become a very good person to them.
Do you know the term “Edo shigusa”?
It is said to be the wisdom of Edo merchants for good communication.
The “Edo shigusa” means to be a good listener.
Do not cross your legs in public. Do not fold your arms.
Listen to them by looking them in the eye and leaning forward.
I’ll minister to you at the point of view.
Even if I know some of the story, I don’t say “I know”.
If you look interested and urge them to go ahead and talk.
An unexpected harvest is inevitable.
It was written. Edo wisdom is a stone’s throw, isn’t it?
The basic techniques of a good listener are actions (mainly questions) and reactions (aizuchi/expressions/movements, etc.) to what the other person says. If the other person does not start talking, you can ask him or her questions. If the other person starts to speak, you can react to what he or she says. You can do this by using your “aizuchi” (a Japanese word that means “to strike a chord” in Japanese) and matching your facial expressions and actions to it. The following are some examples of aids.
・affirmative ：「Yes,” “hum-hum,” “hmm,” “hi,” “I see,” “I see,” “I see,” ….
・ask the leading question ：Then what? And then what? What happened? What do you mean? What do you mean? Ask deeply: “Why? What’s going on? What do you think? ….
・approval ：I think so,” “That’s good,” “I think so too.” …
・surprise ：I can’t believe it”, “I can’t believe it”, “I didn’t know that was possible”….
・praise ：”Wow,” “great job,” “you’re good,” “good job,” “good job.
・blessing ：I am happy for you,” “Congratulations,” “I am happy for you,” and so on.
I too tend to talk too much, and I am constantly reminded of it, but I think the key to being liked by others is to be a good listener rather than a good talker.
As I am sure you have experienced, people who always take the time to listen to you will be an indispensable person for you.
Most of us are comfortable talking, so the only way to become a good listener is to work on it. Let’s both do our best!