Last month, a man who was warned for smoking on a train punched, kicked, and otherwise assaulted a high school boy who had warned him, seriously injuring him.
On social networking sites, people praised the courage of the high school boy and also said, “It is shameful for adults to turn a blind eye.
We do not know how the high school student warned him, but we are certain that the violent man was warned in front of everyone and became upset.
When I was younger, I had a similar experience.
It happened on a train on my way home. It was late at night and the train was empty, as if some seats were still available. There, a middle-aged man crossed his legs and was talking longingly on his cell phone in a loud voice. I did not intend to listen to the conversation, but I couldn’t help but hear him, so I did. The content of the conversation was unimportant and not something that I was in a hurry to hear. I was sitting just in front of him and the people around me were frowning and looking annoyed by the cell phone call. I was frowning and trying to be patient as well, but the conversation went on for a long time, and I finally said loudly, “You can’t make a phone call in the car! I warned him loudly.
Everyone in the car looked at us. The man hung up his cell phone and said, “Who decided that I shouldn’t call you? If it’s absolutely necessary, it’s okay! I said, “I know that without asking the conductor! Get off the train! He got up from his seat and stood in front of the door. I did not intend to follow him, but the next stop was Senri-Oka station, where I got off.
I had no choice but to get off and followed him to the end of the platform where he was headed. He stopped and turned toward me, and I was wondering whether I should run or not, when he said, “I am sorry! Please forgive me! You are right. I said what I said because I didn’t want to look awkward in front of everyone.” He bowed his head. I was relieved and relieved.
A few days later I told my friend about it.
The friend listened with interest, but then said, “Ichirai, that’s your fault. If you give that kind of warning, no one will listen to you! You should consider yourself lucky you didn’t get hurt!”
My friend, looking very proud of himself, told me the story of his experience in the car.
The car was crowded, and an uncle in work clothes was lying down in his seat and sleeping. Of course there were people standing, but no one paid attention and everyone pretended not to.
He gathered up his courage, bent down and asked, “Mister, are you feeling sick? If so, shall I call the conductor?” The man said, “No, no, no, I’m fine,” and sat back down. I see, that is a wonderful way to warn people.
The way my friend’s attention gives the other person a chance to get back on their feet. They may have been sleeping because they were tired but did not have a chance to get up when it got crowded. I give gentle attention while considering the other person’s position and keeping up appearances.
The way I give attention crushes the other person’s face. The more righteous my attention is, the more he will be exposed to public shame. There is no way he can honestly listen to my caution.
Isn’t that kind of consideration necessary when giving attention at work? In some cases, it may be necessary to humiliate the person, but if the person is only concerned about being humiliated, there is nothing to be done. This is a high technique to scold well while considering the person, the occasion, and the situation. If you do not scold in a way that makes the other person feel sorry, it is meaningless.
Our product manager goes to a factory in China to provide guidance. The instructor was so enthusiastic about his work that he excitedly scolded the workers on the sewing line. The Chinese president said, “There is a problem with the way you gave that instruction. No matter how many problems I have with my sewing, if I am scolded like that in front of so many people, I will quit. I would have quit.
I have made many mistakes, but this phrase, “Short temper is a lose-lose situation,” is the most poignant to me.
When I was in my twenties, I lost confidence in my work and strongly wanted to quit my job, I came across a book that moved me.
D, Carnegie’s book “Motivating People”.
I would like to share an excerpt from it that gives an example of how to exercise caution.
“George, Johnston, of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety director of a plant and decides to enforce the rule of wearing helmets among the workers on the job site. As soon as he sees a worker not wearing a helmet, he chastises him for violating the rule. The workers would grudgingly put on their helmets, but as soon as he took his eyes off them, they would take their helmets off. So Johnston thought of another method.
Helmets are not very comfortable to wear, you know.
In addition, I can’t stand it when it’s not the right size. ……
Is yours the right size?”.
First, you start out like this, and then you tell them that even if it is a little uncomfortable to wear, they should always wear a helmet because it still prevents a great deal of danger. This way, they don’t get angry or resent me, and the rule is well enforced. “
I think this means that you have put yourself in their shoes, represented their reasons for not wanting to wear the helmet, showed understanding, and made them ready to listen to you, and then got them to agree to wear the helmet.
He then introduces the words of the great psychologist Hans, Selye.
We desire the admiration of others with great intensity, and we fear their condemnation with equal intensity. And with the same intensity we fear condemnation from others.